Why is it Bad to be Shy?

It's no secret that being a loud mouth is one of the best ways to make people hate you. Nobody likes a loud mouth and being too confident can make it seem like you're arrogant or cocky to other people. But going too far in the other direction can also have negative effects.

Being too shy can impact your social life, your career, your personal relationships, and even your health. Some people have no choice because they suffer from social anxiety or other associated disorders, while others are purposely shy because they worry about coming off as too arrogant in front of people.

If you're a shy person or socially awkward, you may already be aware of some of the bad things that can occur as a result of being shy and socially awkward. If not, it may only be a matter of time before you start to notice these things.

I was once a shy person myself and I noticed how my life changed for the better once I started being more confident around people and more social.

So in case you're curious or just want a heads up, here are just a few of the things shy people have to deal with on a regular basis because of their shyness.

Making Friends

One of the most obvious downsides of being shy is that it's hard to make friends. When you're shy you come off as being socially awkward and other people pick up on these vibes and won't want to associate with you.

Other people who have a hard time making friends may gravitate towards you because they might relate to your personality, but the majority of people on this earth seem to gravitate towards those who are socially outgoing and approachable.

This is an unfortunate part of life but it's just the way things are. Not everybody is going to be understanding of your shyness and when you have trouble making friends this can affect nearly everything else in your life.

In the Workplace

Being shy in a work environment can have a profound impact on a person's success. When a person is shy, others sometimes perceive this as a lack of confidence. Having a lack of confidence can cause others to think that you're incapable of making important business decisions.

There's been studies in the past (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology - October 2012 Pages 718-735) that have concluded that overconfident people get promoted more often to manager or supervisor positions than shy people do.

Being shy on the job can also hurt your business relationships because coworkers may not feel comfortable working around you or you may just have a hard time socializing with them. Even getting the job can be difficult when you're socially awkward because you might not even make it past the interview process.

During any interview, the person conducting the interview is usually looking for a friendly person who's able to work with others without any problems.

They may look at you during the interview process and notice the usual symptoms of shyness (avoiding eye contact, inability to keep conversation running smoothly, etc.) and that might make you look like a "weirdo" to them. In addition to this, people who do the interviewing usually look to hire people that they themselves wouldn't mind working around.

If you're unable to get along with the interviewer and have a few laughs during the interview, they might just pass up on you and hire the next person for the position.

Social Hostility

Being shy can also cause all types of other problems in life, particularly in social situations. People often associate shyness with being timid and associate timidness with being weak.

So a lot people you encounter may think that you're a pushover or someone they can take advantage of. They'll think that you're someone who won't stand up for yourself so they think they can get away with treating you poorly.

Even if you're the type of person to stand up for yourself, it's hard to avoid confrontations with people to begin with because they may not know that about you and will assume that they can treat you bad from the start as soon as they meet you.

You might end up confronting them or pushing back, so to speak, but this could create all different types of negative scenarios and it's your shyness that is the initial cause of all these scenarios that you might find yourself in.

Shyness can annoy or irritate some people as well for whatever reasons so this can also cause problems for you and cause others to be hostile towards you or talk down to you.

In Romance

It's been said a million times before by others but I'll say it again: Confidence is attractive. Coming off as being confident can greatly boost your chances with the opposite sex (or same sex, depending on your orientation).

There's some people who find shyness attractive, but the vast majority of people find confidence to be sexy and alluring. This is particularly true when it comes to women and how they view confident men.

Alpha males in any species are usually viewed by the opposite sex as being healthy, strong, and therefore suitable for mating. Confidence is tied into all of this because many women subconsciously (or even consciously) find alpha male types attractive for this reason. It's as if it's written in their DNA that in order for them to mate and have healthy babies, they must mate with a suitable male who is also healthy.

Confidence is one of the best indicators of this in nature, so being shy can sometimes cause women (and even men) to feel less attracted to another person if that person seems to be too shy and the opposite of alpha.

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