Why Do Friendships Fall Apart?
When you're growing up, having friends can be very important. They can help you through confusing or hard times, they can make a good time even better by offering companionship and they can improve your outlook on life by helping you to stay positive and allowing you to put your trust in someone without having it broken. Even in adulthood this can all be very important since adults need many of these things in life as well. But no matter what age you're at, friendships can and do fall apart eventually.
There are many reasons this can happen and no matter how strong the bond is or no matter how long you have been friends with someone, it can happen sometimes without any way to stop it. It seems as if some relationships were created with an expiration date because there's so many different factors that can pull them apart and divide people.
But if you know what some of the reasons for this happening are then you may be able to prevent it from happening in some situations before it actually occurs. So of all the different reasons why friendships may fall apart, here are the top most common reasons and if you see any signs of these things happening before they do, you may want to start taking steps to avoid them from causing problems later down the road.
This is the most common reason for friendships ending and breaking up. Life just seems to have a natural way of dividing people, almost as easily and as quickly as it brings people together. The same way you met a friend may be the same way you lose a friend.
For example, you may have made new friends when you moved to a new town and you became very close to these people as you stayed in this town for many years. But then you suddenly have to move or leave town for whatever reason and eventually you lose contact with these people.
The reason for this is that sometimes when you move and have to leave your friends, you're not around each other anymore and have less in common and less to talk about. You would think that you would have more to talk about since you're both experiencing different environments and different things and can share these experiences in conversation on the phone, but on the contrary. What's exciting and new to you may be boring to the person who is not experiencing it, so they may not want to talk about it or you just may not relate to each other anymore.
This scenario is extremely common because most people will move or make major changes in their lives that can disrupt a friendship. This can include going off to college, joining the military, moving to a different town, state, or country, or even getting a job that requires a lot of traveling or work time.
Another reason is romance, which is almost unavoidable. Sometimes when people get married or get involved in a serious relationship with a new boyfriend or girlfriend, they suddenly start spending less time with their friends as they shift this time over to their new love interest and focus on their relationship.
Sadly, these types of relationships are more important to most people than the friendship types so they will almost always put priority in these types over their pals. They will settle down with their new families, and often times they will have children and this will take even more time away from the time they can spend with friends.
It's during times like these that some people just lose contact with their friends, as the nights out get less and less and the amount of phone call conversations decrease gradually every month until they are non-existent.
Jealousy and Betrayal
Disputes between friends are very common and jealousy and betrayal have been around since the beginning of mankind, as evidenced from countless stories throughout history. Sometimes people can't help but be jealous over a friend who has a lot of money, a good job, a romantic relationship, or for any reason.
Betrayal can also play a role just as easily as jealousy. Two girls who may have called themselves best friends forever last week may be fighting over a boy this week and this may ruin their friendship. This can work vice-versa with boys fighting over girls as well.
Even the bonds between full grown adults aren't always strong enough to last through this type of test. The girlfriend of a man may cheat with his best friend or the boyfriend of a woman may do the same. Anybody who has seen the show Cheaters or who has been on this earth long enough has seen this scenario enough times to know it's fairly common.
When it comes to betrayal, this can come in many different shades and colors. In my case, I've had childhood friends who I was close with for over 15 years start stealing from me when they were addicted to drugs. Even when some of them got off the drugs, they weren't the same people that they were before and though I wanted to forgive them, some never even apologized for these actions or expressed remorse.
So people you know for many years can become strangers within a few weeks after drug use or other factors come into the picture. Some may betray you in other forms, such as abandoning you when you need their help the most, choosing to hang out with new friends instead of you, or not paying back money that you loaned them when you know they are capable of doing so.
Because of the last reason, you'll often hear people in everyday life say "family or friends and money don't mix". It's very true but even though it can be a costly mistake, it can also serve as an expensive lesson and a test to see who your real friends really are.
Miscommunication/Lack of Communication
Communication in any relationship is important and one of the main binding factors that help keep a relationship together. When friends stop communicating or have communication issues, the bond between them will eventually weaken and the relationship will become strained.
Examples of communication problems can include the following: Failing to call your friends or talk to them on a regular or consistent basis, not being upfront with friends about problems you're having with them or feelings that may be bothering you, or not being honest with them and letting them know the truth about certain things that may upset them if they find out you're not being transparent with them.
If you have a friend who is used to other buddies calling them, then it's obvious that if you never call them or only rarely call them then they may not consider your relationship to be a very significant one and will choose to communicate more with those who communicate with them.
When only one person calls the other and the other never calls or makes an effort to keep in contact, this is referred to as a one-sided or one-directional friendship. I've lost touch with many previous pals of mine because they never took any initiative to contact me and it was always me having to get in touch with them.
Also, if you're not upfront with friends and have a dispute or problems with them that you're keeping to yourself, this can become bottled up and spill out one day at the wrong moment. It can also show deceit or dishonesty, at least from a friend's perspective, even if you kept these things to yourself to avoid hurting their feelings.
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