Is it Bad to Be Nice?

Being a nice person is probably one of the most ideal ways that a person can choose to live. When you're nice, you make others feel good, and in many cases, your niceness can also make you feel good as well. Sometimes being nice to other people results in rewards for you. For example, one day you may help out a person who is in trouble, and then a year later they may remember your good deed and return the favor when you need a helping hand. This could be considered to be a form of karma, in a realistic sense. But for every thing that has a good side, there's always a bad side as well. Being nice to people, or too nice, can also cause a negative reaction from some people unfortunately. I believe that you should be nice to everyone, because those that react negatively to it are a rare minority and most people will react positively. But for those that don't, here's a few examples of the negative things that can happen when you're too nice.

People Take Advantage
If you've ever tried being nice for a long period of time, then you probably already know about this one and experienced it yourself. Some people often mistake kindness for a weakness, and if you're kind to these types of people, they automatically view you as a door mat to be stepped all over. This can come in many different forms, from physical bullying to taking things from you over time. A person may try to hustle you or borrow money time and time again, with no intention on paying you back. Either that or they may use you to boost their own self-esteem, by bullying you or by constantly talking about their problems or themselves and never letting you have a chance to speak. These types are usually non-reciprocal by nature, which would explain this type of selfish behavior. Either way, these kinds of people will either mistake you for a pushover or a coward, and they will aim at that area that they think is unshielded, fragile, or weak.

Back of the Line
This negative aspect of being nice is what I refer to as "the back of the line". It's when you're so nice to people, that the action of being polite ends up hurting you in the end. Imagine being the nice person standing in a very long line. So since you're such a nice person, you decide to let the person behind you skip you, and now you're behind them. But what happens when you're nice to everybody? Pretty soon, you'll end up at the very back of the line, and each person you helped out only ended up one spot ahead. So you suffered greatly, so they wouldn't have to suffer just a tiny bit. I'm just using the line as an example, this type of scenario can happen in all different kinds of situations in life. In my particular situation, I was on a bus and the bus came to a stop where a man tried to board the bus with a car battery in his hand, but the driver wouldn't let him on and said that batteries were not permitted on the bus. I had a plastic bag with dirty socks in my backpack and I got off the bus to give him the bag and I placed my socks in my backpack again without the plastic bag. Well he took the bag but seemed hesitant, and I ended up having to wait 20 minutes for the next bus. He left with the bag and now I was suck smelling like dirty socks coming from my backpack. He probably never even used the bag because he didn't wait for the next bus and didn't seem very appreciative when I handed it to him. So being polite and going out of my way to help a stranger ended up hurting me in the end.

The Opposite Sex
One common problem that many nice people encounter, especially young men, is problems attracting the opposite sex (or for those who are gay or bisexual, the same sex). Im sure you've heard of the phrase "nice guys finish last". Well it's a cold hard fact that many people, especially many young women, prefer aggressive or take charge type personalities. If a guy is too nice, some women may interpret that as being timid or weak. This can be a big turn-off for many of them. I can't count how many times I've heard young teen or twenty-something men complain that girls only like jerks and show-offs. But there are still some young women out there that prefer nice guys. It just takes a little extra searching to find those kinds. Fortunately, as women get older, many who once weren't attracted to nice guys suddenly have a change of heart as they become more practical and mature.

Mental Problems
In certain circumstances, being nice can lead to various mental problems or disorders. This is usually a result of all the other negative things I've already mentioned. When a person tries to be nice all the time, and when people are constantly taking advantage of them or when romantic interests are always rejecting them, this can turn into anger and frustration. Nice people, like most people, have a breaking point or a limit. Once that limit is passed, they may develop mental problems. The most common scenario is when a person has friends or people in their life that always take advantage of them or betray them. Over time, the person may become more bitter and untrusting of people, and this can lead to isolation and a withdrawal from society. The bitterness, isolation and withdrawal can all lead to even more serious mental or health problems, so it becomes a downward spiral for some people.

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